Nobody's
I'm 21. I don't know who I am. #JesusLovesYou
I'm from -- you guessed it! The South.
I'll be honest with you.
I hope the best for you, and I hope you realize that trying to kill somebody else’s happiness will only take away your own in the end. That’s why I’m done listening and watching and waiting for a ghost.
![samhumphries:
Blade Runner has been called “the official nightmare of Los Angeles”, yet this dystopian vision is in many ways a city planner’s dream come true. Finally, a vibrant street life. A downtown crowded with nighttime strollers. Neon beyond our wildest dreams. Only a Unabomber could find this totally repellant.
The streets are littered with electronic parking meters, but there are no cars parked next to them. The VTOL has replaced the SUV, but there are no traffic jams in the sky. The hero, Deckard, drives his car home from his job downtown, yet when he pulls into the grounds of the hundred-story apartment building where he lives, he finds a parking place right next to the front door. Apparently, he is the only tenant with a car.
Blade Runner is easy to criticize […] yet Blade Runner continues to fascinate. Perhaps it expresses a nostalgia for a dystopian vision of the future that has become outdated. This vision offered some consolation, because it was at least sublime. Now the future looks brighter, hotter, and blander. Buffalo will become Miami, and Los Angeles will become Death Valley, at least until the rising ocean tides wash it away.
Computers will get faster, and we will get slower. There will be plenty of progress, but few of us will be any better off or happier for it. Robots won’t be sexy and dangerous, they’ll be dull and efficient, and they’ll take our jobs.
— Thom Andersen, Los Angeles Plays Itself (2003)](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzvzwvbwOd1qzq6g0o1_1280.jpg)
Tears fall, and they evaporate like salt into the air. The air is shared by everyone so I hope everybody knows I cried for you. I realize that some people will not accept me, and judge me, but what can I do? Smile! I smile because, in the end, I am who I am, nothing more, nothing less. I can’t change myself to make you happy, I will always just be me. And that’s where I leave it.
Sometimes, you love somebody so much, that you’d die for them before you even tell them you love them.
“He loved her and she wouldn’t leave his husband. They went on a hunt for him and found that he hung himself in the well. The kids loved him, couldn’t wait to see him smiling. But that day, he knew he couldn’t pretend to smile anymore and he took the rope, let go and fell.”
I’ll change myself to make myself happy, because in the end, I’m the only one even remotely capable of that. Depending on you to make me smile is like depending on my mom not to forget her coffee or spill it every morning. Things like that just don’t get better with age. The older I get, the less smiling I’ll do because the older I get, I realize I’m not like you. I’m just the product of a fucked up world. The product of everything I’ve ever known and seen.
I’m blessed because God was part of that world I grew up in. Blessed to know He does love when others hate. And that’s all I can hope for in the end.
I remember a girl I used to know on Myspace. She hung herself in the closet because her dad wouldn’t let her see the boy she loved. He dad found her dead in the closet, and he was only five minutes late. He blamed himself, I think. She was beautiful, and nobody saw the pain in her eyes in her pictures. She, hung herself in the closet “probably by accident” they said.
Love takes lives everyday, and we wonder why we throw it away.
Sometimes you realize, a place would be better off without you. So you withdraw from that place, eventually, you withdraw from yourself. Eventually, you withdraw from your soul, and you become one of the others, a soulless nothing, just waiting to die.
Sometimes I write to myself when I know that nobody would care to listen, sometimes I think to myself when my thoughts are too out there. Sometimes I stay alone when I know people expect me to.
